One of the best reflections I’ve seen on social media.

marylikesbagels:

I have had a facebook account for about 4 years. Facebook is supposed to be about reconnecting and keeping in touch with friends, and yet, I cannot think of a single way in which facebook has helped me do this.  The idea of a “facebook friend” is highly superficial.  It makes one think as though they have relationships with people they, in reality, do not have relationships with.  My real friendships are characterized by actually talking and spending time with people.  Sure, we may have facebook conversations, but these are merely a supplement to our friendship —if even that.  I have friends from back home and friends from college.  I consider myself to be a friendly person with a lot of friends, but not 400+ friends.  After a few times of meeting someone, it is common to request the other person on facebook.  By becoming facebook friends, I now have a detailed access to their life. I can see what they are doing, who they are doing it with, and what they look like doing it.  Though I can view all of this information at ease, I was not actually a part of any of it.   Facebook makes people feel as though they know someone that they do not really know.Through conversation and shared experiences, acquaintances become friends.  Through facebook, I can enter into all of these experiences by virtue of the fact that someone trusts/ likes me enough grant me access their profile content..  Yet, by “sharing” in these experiences, I am not actually deepening my friendship with any one.  I think facebook also, inadvertantly promotes jealousy and envy.  I constantly know what other people are up to and who they are hanging out with.  But few of the things I see talked about on facebook actually involve me.  Scrolling through my facebook newsfeed is like listening to my friends discuss a party that I was not invited to.  It makes me feel as though everyone is having fun without you —which is true! Of the 7 billion people who are having fun in the world, 99.99% are having fun without me. Why? Because they don’t know me, or they aren’t friends with me. Facebook makes us think we are friends with people that we are not friends with.  We see in real time all that is happening without us, and we feel bad for being left out of things that we have no reason to be a part of anyways. More than anything, I think facebook functions as a virtual photo album.  But the worst part is, we are all too aware of the fact. We know that every social event will be documented and immortalized for all of our friends and enemies to see on the internet.  Therefore, we better make sure we look like we are having a good time and are looking good doing it. Girls, biologically, have a greater sensitivity to color and texture than boys do. I think this is part of the reason why girls, more-so than guys, are always comparing themselves physically with one another.  Facebook, by its constant stream of photos, only encourages this toxic behavior.   For all the time I spend on facebook each week, I don’t think I have grown from it in any way as a person. I can’t say the same for tumblr. Tumblr has helped me improve my writing and my thinking. It has helped me solidify my opinions or caused me to rethink them.  But facebook, has only sucked time and energy from my already busy schedule and cluttered mind.  Because facebook is constantly filling us in on what others are doing, the need to “keep up with the Jones’s” only intensifies.  So much of facebook is about being “seen.” It gives us this heightened awareness that we are being watched.  Well in the olden days, the feeling of being watched meant you were in danger and so your fight or flight instinct kicked in.  No wonder the internet stresses me out.  It is not important for people to see what I am doing. It’s not that I am hiding something or feel as though my privacy is being invaded.  Quite the contrary.  Facebook elevates my need to be seen.  It feeds into my need for attention, turning it into an irrational appetite.  I think having a facebook actually makes it harder to be content with myself because I am so aware of being seen. I know it may seem to some as though I am overdramatizing what has become the norm of social interaction.  Maybe. But I think there are real consequences to the cyber-world of social media.  I want my relationships with be authentic and to grow authentically. I want to learn about people because they are telling my about themselves, not because they are giving my access to their personal files. I want to spend time with real people and not with their pictures and status updates. I have given a friend my username and password and asked him to delete my account and change my password. Maybe some day I’ll be back, but for now, I surrender facebook.